The Harmonica was invented by Sir Charles Scrotum, who despised beggars whistling on street corners.

Superglue was originally developed for use as a hairspray, but was quickly abandoned when it was realised that one application fixed a hairstyle for 35 years, and was therefore deemed "unfashionable". It is now only used by old-age pensioners.

President Kennedy was not assassinated. In fact, he suffered a rare hormonal condition which tended to cause his head to explode when travelling in open-top cars near grassy knolls.