Dave's Web of Lies Lie of the Day A Week of Lies Random Lie Lie Database Celebrity Liar Guest Liar Submit a Lie

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Our 3rd guest liar is Mr Frank Charlton

of Tachyon Communications.

Mr Charlton's chosen topic was 17th Century Agricultural Practices.


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The energy generated by a pair of mice engaged in sexual intercourse is sufficient to power Vice Prime Minister Michael Heseltines Electric Techno-Underpants for one year.

Obligatory Self-reference

The common Goldfish is a voracious predator. A United Nations ruling in 1941 stated that henceforth all such piscines must be confined within small transparent bowls constructed from the residue left by melting Edith Piaf records.

Obligatory Self-reference

The videogame character "Mario" was invented when a Nintendo executive observed Labour MP Ken Livingstone stomping on mushrooms in a frenzy during his addiction to Lemsip.

Obligatory Self-reference

The Internet is housed in the cassette deck of a Commodore VIC-20, located on the small Scottish Island of Ballyhoo.

Obligatory Self-reference

The ritual of circumcision actually renders a man invisible to attacking bushbabies.

Obligatory Self-reference

The record "There's no-one quite like Grandma" by St. Winifred's School Choir is known to contain back-masked messages, including "Hamsters are the tools of Beelzebub".

Obligatory Self-reference

Dialling a random seven-digit number beginning with 5 will always connect you to a man named Smegma.

Obligatory Self-reference

The perfume now known as "Obsession" was previously marketed as a man's aftershave called "Midnight In A Weightlifter's Jockstrap", by Algonquin Swivel.

Obligatory Self-reference

Kellog's Pop Tarts © are the leftovers from a Chemical Warfare plan abandoned by the Chinese Government in 1886.

Obligatory Self-reference

"Supermarket Sweep" star Dale Winton has stored all of his bodily effluent in small labelled fish-paste jars since the age of seven.

Obligatory Self-reference

Wearing nylon underpants screen-printed with a colourful picture of Alan Titchmarsh is required by law in Milton Keynes.

Obligatory Self-reference

Reclusive inventor Howard Hughes' final invention was the little-known Magnetic Cleft-Fluff Remover.

Obligatory Self-reference

Custard is extracted from a tiny gland in a South African bird known as the Knibble.

Obligatory Self-reference

Shrubbery is illegal in some states of the USA.

Obligatory Self-reference

The entire Welsh village of Knobbler was removed from maps in 1965, in an attempt by the Government to cover up the secret landing of Space Cockatoos from beyond the Galactic Rim.

Obligatory Self-reference

String is too short.

Obligatory Self-reference

Underpants are punishable by death in some parts of the Australian outback.

Obligatory Self-reference

Canada is manufactured entirely from shoeboxes rejected by Fit-Rite.

Obligatory Self-reference
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Guest Liars' Hall Of Fame


Mr David Gollub

Mr Paul Wayper

Mr Simon McCallum

Mr Colin McChesney

Mr Dave Kenning

Mr Ade Ward

[email protected]

Mr Paul Craggs

Dr. Steve Greatbanks

Mr. Jo(e/seph) Reeves

Sir Greg O'Beirne

Mr Frank Charlton

Mr Rob Smith

Mr Yan Pomplemeyer
Get the Lie Of The Day via email Comments?
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Brought to you by David Hancock , Brian Scholer and Paul Wayper .

Last updated Dec 19, 2009